You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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