Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
