Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
