My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
