...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Michael Bay diarrhea
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
