So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
