it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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