I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize