Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
