I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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