I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
