Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
