There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
