i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
