Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
