i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
high people should be assigned attendants
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
