We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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