ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
