didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
