no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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