So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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