Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
