You can't special order awesome
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
