his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
