I will die if light touches me.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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