We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
