i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
