who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
