discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
