I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize