He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
