If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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