I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
