Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
try to milk me bitch
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
