Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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