the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
