help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I AM VODKA MAN
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
