well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
