How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There's always time for handjobs
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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