i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
