Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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