I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
