2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
no you cant smoke seaweed
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
