Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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