i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
