goodnight i made you a song goodbye
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my shit smells like andre
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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