Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize