i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
