Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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