I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize