Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
