Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
