oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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