ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have feelings that need drinking.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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