I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
