i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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