Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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